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Feeling confused about getting married. Need some helpful advice please.


Feeling confused about getting married. Need some helpful advice please.

lili kab asmera


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Hi All,

I need some advice. I have been engaged for over a year now. Our wedding is scheduled in 5 months from now, and I am just not feeling happy or excited like I use to be. I feel like pausing time and just thinking it through some more. I want to postpone the wedding, but my fiancé said no. We have the venue, photographer, and photo booth booked. I also bought my dress already.

My maid of honor has been helping me plan the wedding and she told me we should start shopping for bridesmaid dresses this coming month.  So we set a date on June back in February, and now that day is approaching, and I feel like canceling it because I am not feeling confident or at ease about marrying my fiancé.

The main reason I am feeling confused is because I do not find my fiancé physically attractive and because of that I feel my affection towards him doesn’t come out naturally. Like I really don’t care to make-out with him. I like holding hands, hugs, and a peck on the lips, but that’s it. I am starting to think I love him more like a friend. I have known him for 7 years and we were friends for 3 of those years. He liked me from the beginning, but I didn’t, yet he still stuck around waiting for me to change my mind.

Well one day I did change my mind and looked at all of his qualities. I realized he would make a great husband and father, and I thought to myself that there are not a lot of good guys out there now a days, and I should take advantage of the fact that there is a good man in this world that loves me for being myself and accepts me with my flaws and all. I feel lucky.
Anyway, This is how I have been feeling over the years we have been together. I have been trying to put his physical appearance aside, but now that the wedding is getting closer this problem is resurfacing again. I don’t want to get into a marriage where I am going to feel unhappy or feeling I made a mistake.
Many of my family members have made negative comments about his appearance. One family member told me I could have done better and that she doesn’t see my marriage lasting more than 72 hours.
He has been my first and only boyfriend. I am the type of girl that doesn’t go out a lot except to a Starbucks to go study at or a Barnes and nobles. I also don’t have any close friends, so he has been the only closest friend in my life. The one I vent too, but this is not something I want to vent to him about. I have tried in the past, but I just hurt his feelings. So this is why I am venting to you all in search for some helpful advice.
Also we have been in a long distance relationship as well. He lives an hour away from me, so we only see each other once a week on the weekends. So that doesn’t help much either.